Even with the most supportive school staff, navigating IEP and 504 meetings for your child can be confusing and daunting. It is difficult to know for sure if you have everything in place for your child, and at times it can also be a challenge to make your concerns understood to the Special Education team. If your child’s needs are not currently being met, you may not know how to make that happen. As the parent, you are the expert on your child, and problems may be more evident to you than to other observers. What should you ask for, or what resources are legally available for your child? Does the school understand that there is an unmet need or are needs flying under the radar?
In these situations, it can be helpful to bring in a private educational advocate, to advise you and possibly attend meetings with you. This is someone well-versed in what resources from the school district are available for your child. They can make suggestions based upon the whole picture: diagnoses, needs, behaviors, school refusals, and areas of deficit as well as strength. The advocate can even speak on your behalf at the meeting, to make requests of the team on your child’s behalf. An advocate could have that title, or it could be a psychologist who will act as an advocate. In addition to the option of utilizing an educational advocate, another option is to bring in an expert or specialist who can confirm to the team that the child needs certain services and accommodations. They can clarify what is needed for the child to thrive in a classroom environment. The expert may be a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, SLP, occupational therapist, or tutor. If you are already working with a specific specialist, you could ask them to attend the meeting. This can typically be done via an online platform if needed. Expect to pay for their time.
To find an educational advocate, I would start with referrals. If you have other specialists you have worked with, ask if they have any recommendations. If there is a reputable psychology group, especially if you have worked with them or someone you trust has, ask them for an advocate recommendation. If you still are not turning up leads, ask within local parenting or neurodiversity groups online. Typically you can ask this kind of question on a Facebook page for your area school district, but choose to make the post anonymous. If you receive any recommendations, now is the time to do a little further research. Look at reviews and ask around. If you did not find any recommendations, you could start with a google search for an educational advocate in your city. Once you have some names, be sure to fully vet them. For bringing in a specialist or educational advocate, there will be a cost. This is a short term pain for long term benefit.
Once you find a potential Special Educational Advocate, here are some questions you could ask as you decide if they are a good fit:
- What is your background, education and experience in educational advocacy?
- Does the advocate have experience with supporting both 504s and IEPs? Giftedness?
- What kinds of support do you typically offer? Do you help me craft emails? Will you attend meetings with me? Are there certain kinds of neurodiversity that you have experience supporting?
- What are your fees and what is the fee schedule? What kind of payment do you take?
- May I have references?
- What school districts have you worked with in the past?
- Do you have specialists that you work with or can recommend in the process? Is there an educational lawyer you recommend if it becomes needed?
- Invite the advocate to share about their approach and beliefs around education for neurodiverse students. What are their advocacy goals?
- What is the advocate’s timeline? Does it line up with your needs or are they backed up with clients?
- Will you be working directly with this advocate? Are there ever times when they might have you work with an assistant or other representative?
- What is their turnaround time in responding to phone calls and emails? Does it meet your needs?
- (As you discuss these things with the advocate, does the advocate seem approachable and knowledgeable? Do you feel comfortable and confident working with them?)
Perhaps you don’t need that kind of professional support, but could use a friend. You absolutely have a right to bring a friend to your meeting. Make sure they know what you are asking of them. For instance, perhaps you don’t want them to speak, but they can take notes during the meeting and then be a sounding board for you later, as you decide your next steps based on the meeting. In this way they are also a moral support for you as you do something that might be difficult or nerve-wracking.
If things are going badly or feeling especially difficult, there is a point where it may be time to utilize an educational lawyer, which is your legal right. Just be aware it is possible the school will then want to bring in a lawyer as well. Whatever you do, in most states it is not legally required to give notice of the guest, however it is absolutely considered best practice and respectful to let them know in advance. Check with your state laws to verify what is required from your state. Also, keep in mind that the school district is part of your team and it is a good idea to keep the relationship collaborative and respectful. You can bring in advocates, specialists and even a lawyer, and also maintain your composure and respect with how you speak to and treat the school representatives. Likely, most or all of the district representatives truly do want your child to succeed, so keep that common goal in mind whenever you meet with the team. A little bit of gratitude goes a long way.
Good luck and best wishes on the next steps of your advocacy journey!
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