One day your child may need to navigate an airport on their own. Before the need arises, you can work on airport skills any time you travel by plane. If you fly as a family, and as your child is ready, start layering in preparation now. It’s all about baby steps over time rather than just throwing your kid in the pool one day and hoping they swim. You’ve got this!
- Give extra time. First, try to arrive for your flight with enough time so that you are not rushed. That will make it easier for your child to learn from the airport experience.
- Narrate what you are doing. Narrate what happens as you go through the airport. Explain that first you go to baggage check, then through security, and so forth. For our family, after we are through security and find the gate, I would narrate that we can then look at how much time is left before boarding. At that point, we have time to get a snack and stop in the restroom, if needed.
- Be hands on. Let them put the tag on a piece of luggage. Let them peel the sticker and apply the tag to the handle. They could practice carrying a photocopy of a passport in their backpack. When they are ready, let them carry their own boarding pass along with their ID document. When your child is the right age, allow them to be in charge of their own suitcase or carry-on.
- Point out everything to your child. Explain the information on the boarding pass: the gate number and the loading time vs departure time. Show your child the flight status displays where you can check on the status of the flight. Explain a delayed flight. Have them find your flight on the display. Is it on time? Did the gate change? Point out how to identify who is an employee and could answer a question.
- Go over safety. It is important but discuss safety protocols calmly, just explaining. That way you don’t freak your child out. Explain and narrate how you bring your own belongings into the stall with you and any suggestions of how to stay safe in the bathroom. Don’t let anyone single you out in the bathroom. You always keep your carry-on bag with you everywhere you go at the airport. There are some things you don’t joke about in airports, since the words could cause concerns to other people. Explain listening to instructions carefully during security. If your child is being misunderstood by security and in the unlikely event that the misunderstanding is escalating, this could be an appropriate to explain they have autism, anxiety, or auditory hearing issues, if the employee could please explain again. They can also ask for a supervisor. In this case, expect to wait for a few minutes and they will probably ask you to stand in a spot to one side while waiting for the supervisor.
- Put your child in charge! At first, while going on flights you are narrating everything. You can do this any time you travel and your child will gradually become more familiar with all the steps. When our kids hit about ten years old (you can update for whatever age is right for your family) we had them take a turn being “in charge” for a flight. We made sure we gave it extra time and then had them take the lead at the airport. “Where do we go first?” “Ok, so here is the boarding pass. What do we do next?” They are leading us, but we are there with them if they really get stuck.
Go-time. When there is an actual opportunity or need for your child to fly alone, another step can be looking for a virtual walkthrough on YouTube of the terminal and airline they will fly. For example, this is a walkthrough of Southwest Airlines flying out of Oakland Airport: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4UHDbBnhWA. There are also great videos of going through security, but since the rules change pretty often, I’m not going to pull up a specific video that could be outdated in two months. Encourage your child to choose a pocket where their ID and boarding pass will always go. Personally, I like cargo pants that have a snap button on the leg pocket. If the boarding pass is digital, then show them how to pull up the boarding pass on a phone. Have them take a screenshot of it as a backup. Make sure they have a phone charger in their carry-on bag.
When it is time to let them fly, plan ahead. It is a good idea for them to have a cell phone. Will there be someone waiting to pick them up at the other side? Can that person wait directly at the arrival gate? If your child is sensitive to sound, then headphones could be helpful. For someone navigating a flight for the first time, headphones may be preferred over earplugs because other people can see them. If your child doesn’t respond to a question, the headphones will be a visual cue that this was unintentional and the question wasn’t heard. Send them with gum or mints to help with ear pressure changes.
If your child needs more time before flying completely solo, you can typically request a non-passenger gate pass to escort a passenger with a disability. This works on both ends: for dropping off at the gate and picking up. Check with the airline for details. The escort should be sure to bring ID and have a copy of the passenger’s itinerary. Especially if the passenger is an adult, it may be helpful to bring documented proof of the passenger’s disability to demonstrate need for the escort.
Every child is different. Have patience and grace with yourself if the possibility of this kind of independence seems really far away. Keep taking baby steps. Don’t forget that many neurodivergent kids have their own unique timeline. It isn’t uncommon for their executive function skills to mature a couple years after neurotypical peers. Psychologist Dr. Dan Peters of Summit Center shares about putting aside societal expectations and timelines. You may find his words a comfort if you feel concerned about your child meeting “typical” timelines. Whether your child will be ready to handle a solo flight as a teen or in early adulthood, taking these baby steps can help prepare them for when the timing is personally right for them.
Warmly,
Christina
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