The idea of an amusement park is supposed to be this fun time as a family where you get to make memories experiencing the time-honored traditions of riding teacups or roller coasters, indulging in overpriced yummy snacks, and watching fireworks or parades. Some parks tout labels like, “The Happiest Place on Earth.” But for many of our families, the reality is that amusement parks are places where our families experience meltdowns, confusion, fear, exhaustion, overstimulation, stress and even unfair treatment. When much of the world is seemingly able to enjoy an activity that is out-of-reach for your own family, it’s an isolating feeling. I’d love to share some tips on how to prepare, advocate and potentially have a successful experience with your neurodivergent family at an amusement park.
But before we get into all the tips and tricks, let me suggest something: abandon your expectations. Remember that the theme park scenes you see in movies and ads are fictional. And, in a sense, your friends’ Instagram narratives are kinda fictional, too. They won’t send you the picture of the deafening noise, the canceled ride, the meltdown outside the park or when they lost their kid in the crowd. You’ll get the cute, curated pics that portray an idealized narrative. So, try to drop the expectations. Let’s do our best to make it fun, and then lean in with curiosity to see how the day goes. Maybe it will be fun, maybe it won’t be at all. Realistically, I’m hoping for somewhere in the middle, with the gauge leaning much closer to “FUN!” than to, “YIKES!” Okay, let’s do this.
First, be aware that many parks offer disability services. Look on their website well in advance to find out the procedure. Sometimes they will want you to bring documentation with you and then at an admin office near the entry, they’ll give you a lanyard that offers some accommodations such as shortened line waiting. At other times, there may be an online appointment in advance of your visit. Unfortunately, the Disney parks in the U.S. have recently pulled back significantly on their disability services. They still have a disability pass, but it’s only available in rare situations and they will want to interview your child over zoom before making a decision. I think the expectation is that those with disabilities will pay for lightning passes instead of receiving services. I’m hoping that the pendulum may swing and Disney will return to offering dignity and support to their guests with disabilities. Disney parks in other countries still offer accessible supports. Universal Studios and Legoland are known for offering support through a pretty seamless process.
Sensory fatigue or significant sensory overwhelm during park visits isn’t just a challenge for toddlers. For a sensory-sensitive family it can be hard on everyone. Headphones and earplugs can be really helpful. Check out my previous blog for suggestions of types and brands that have been successful for other families. It can also help to step outdoors for natural sounds and daylight. Figure out ahead of time where some places to retreat in the park may be. These could be places that are quiet but also during hot months, places that have air conditioning to cool off are helpful. Another retreat option could be back at the hotel or even at the car. Speaking of heat, be sure to drink lots of water. Bring portable fans like this one or cooling towels. It may be helpful to pack an extra t-shirt and pair of underwear for your child in case they get splashed or dirty.
Food can be super tricky between sensitivities with texture, need for routine and potential allergies. Plan ahead by making restaurant reservations weeks in advance. If there’s a place your kids love and they’ll eat well there, there’s no shame in eating there every day. Whatever works best for your family to thrive is the right answer. Some other suggestions: eat a big breakfast of foods that will help sustain your kids before you enter the park. Look at the rules for bringing food into the park. Perhaps they don’t allow coolers, but you could still bring sandwiches in your backpack. Or, leave a cooler of food in the car and do a tailgate lunch in the parking lot. If your hotel is conveniently located, eating lunch there is another option. It can help to have a snack in your bag for long waits in ride lines. Bring a water bottle to refill as needed.
Regarding enjoying the park rides and offerings, the more you can do for your child ahead of time, the better. Find youtube videos of the park. Watch together and go through what the place is like and what to expect. Look at videos of the parades and the crowds. Also very important, for a child who might get scared or overwhelmed on rides, watch youtube videos of someone going through the ride. You can find walk-throughs, such as this one. The video eliminates all the surprises, and for many kids this is a good thing. Keep surprises out of your delivery of information, too. Act “casual.” No Big Reveal about the trip. Don’t create a huge, “Surprise!!” moment. These types of surprises can really backfire for children who are sensitive or wired towards anxiety. Role play situations ahead of time with your child. This can be fun. A ride is shut down. It rains. You don’t get a good view at the parade. If it’s summer, prep them about wearing sunscreen and hat. Throw in a silly one where one of the storm troopers are arguing with a Disney princess. Another way to prepare is to find out each person’s #1 important activity, so that you can prioritize each of those.
Planning your trip for “off season” can also be helpful. For instance, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays tend to be slower than the rest of the week. Avoid holidays and holiday weekends. Go while school is in session, if you can. Go in between popular dates. For instance, in the U.S. a lot of people visit parks over Labor Day weekend, and then parks get busy closer to Halloween. There tends to be a little bit of a lull if you go on a Tues/Wed/Thurs after Labor Day weekend and before Halloween festivities and activities have begun.
I can’t say enough about comfortable shoes. Even if you’ve mostly grown out of using strollers, they can be a great support for tired feet. If your child tends towards anxiety and also if they tend to “hold it” when distracted, overly excited or in intense sensory environments, have miralax in case it’s needed to treat constipation. Take bathroom breaks for all ages. Interoception needs can get ignored or drowned out when there is a new routine, different foods, excitement or stress.
Plan your escape route. Think about how to make it easy to retreat in a hurry. Where is your retreat? A quiet spot in the park? Taking a break in the car? Getting back to the hotel?
If your child wanders or tends toward elopement, put a tile (or similar device) in their shoe. Give them a bracelet or even write on their arm their parent’s phone number. (Just don’t private, identifying info of the child) Who is your village? Can you go with another trusted family, or bring an uncle or grandparent along for added support? With a group, you can divide up for part of the day into two separate, smaller groups. One group may want to take things more slowly and do low-key experiences. The other group may want to do more roller coasters and intense activities. Then, you can meet back up for lunch, dinner, a fireworks show. Make sure that if you invite friends or family that you’re picking people who are part of your village, on your team. You don’t need folks judging your parenting or your kid’s food pickiness at the amusement park.
If one parent does the lion’s share of supervising, be explicit about what you need. It’s okay to ask for help. Sometimes it isn’t a person’s gifting to anticipate your needs and “read the room” to pull in your expectations. Tell them specifically how they can help and what it entails. Trade out who is watching the kiddo so that you sometimes get a break. You can “tag in” and “tag out.” Watch out for the dreaded, “But I thought YOU were watching him!” Being explicit and specific about who is watching when will help prevent that scenario. Bring some fidgets that your child hasn’t ever seen before, a new coloring book and pack of markers. Put all this in your “emergency” grab bag. If it makes you feel any better, way back in the 80s I was the kid who wandered off at an amusement park. I heard my dad tell that story probably 40 times growing up. It was etched on his heart, for sure. As a teen we went back to Knott’s Berry Farm and he walked me over to a payphone. “This is where I found you. I’ll never forget that day. You just looked up at me and said, ‘I almost got lost, Daddy.’” My point is that my parents big-time lost me. I was the wandering, absent-minded professor type who didn’t even know I was lost. We’re all doing the best we can. You’re doing the best you can. Give yourself grace if you mess up.
Let’s talk about what to do if you get into trouble. We had a situation while waiting in line for a ride where my son absent-mindedly touched a button that our family thought was part of the props and ride experience. It was in actuality an unmanned employee station. Unfortunately, when the employees realized they had left the station unattended and my son touched it, they came over and separated us from the group, separated me from my son, and then began to tell us separately over and over again that we would get thrown out of the park. With the intensity of the overwhelming sensory inundation, the confusion of the moment and the verbal attack of the employees, my son and I both burst into tears. I finally got them to leave us alone, and then we cried all the way through that darn ride. Coming back from that experience, here is what I wish future me could have told that momma:
- If there is some kind of problem, no one has a right to separate you from your child. If you keep that in mind, it will be easier for you to become assertive and put your foot down to stop it in the moment that it’s happening.
- Have a short statement prepared in advance that you would say if there’s a misunderstanding related to your family’s neurodivergence, differences or disabilities. It could be something as simple as, “We’re a neurodivergent family and there’s been a misunderstanding.” If the moment is escalating, the next thing you might say is, “I need to speak to the director.”
- If you already registered the disabilities for accommodations, you might have some kind of lanyard or identifying card to help. Show it to them.
P.S. if it makes you feel better, I did submit a complaint and about 6 months later the park called me to discuss and learn what they could do better in the future.
Let me leave you with the same phrase I opened with: check your expectations at the door. Maybe amusement parks are not for your family, and that’s okay. Maybe this will be an amazing, memory-filled day of skipping along, eating cotton candy and going on rides. Maybe there will be meltdowns and you won’t be successful with rides at all. It’s much more likely that it’s going to fall somewhere between those two possibilities. Anxiety craves absolute reassurance but it’s not possible to appease the worry monster. Whatever happens, know you didn’t fail. You took a leap and tried something challenging. Your family got a taste of the experience of trying something new together.
Warmly,
Christina
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